Urinal cats, fighter jets and molly: Inside a Stanley Cup clinching night in Vegas

Credit: © Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports

Never in my lifetime did I expect to see a toy cat in a urinal.

But Tuesday night in Las Vegas, there it was. A small, plastic jaguar staring back at me from the depths of watery porcelain. And no, I didn’t take a picture.

Weird, right? Well, not exactly. It’s Vegas. And before the puck dropped for Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final, the crowd in T-Mobile Arena was already at a fever pitch. The Golden Knights were one win away from hoisting the Stanley Cup, and the fans were amped.

I guess playing against the Panthers inspired something within the Vegas fanbase, because every urinal in the bathroom had one of these toy cats. And everyone was talking about it. There was a tiger in addition to the jaguar. And a leopard. Maybe even a house cat. But oddly, no panthers. I guess they weren’t available at the local dollar store.

Species error aside, the gag was pretty funny. And I guess it’s fitting considering how Florida fans have a penchant for tossing plastic rats on the ice. Because vermin and toilet humor go together like lamb and tuna fish.

While the urinal-dwelling toy cats will always make me laugh, there were plenty of other surreal and amazing moments from Game 5 that I’ll never forget. And a few happened before anyone was even let inside the building.

Thousands of fans were treated to a free set outside T-Mobile by EDM superstar DJ Steve Aoki. People were going nuts. Glitter was everywhere. And I’ve never seen so many moms wearing team-branded jean jackets in my life.

It was an absolute rager outside T-Mobile.

And then I heard an announcement. Two F-15 and F-35 fighter jets from Nellis Air Force Base were en route for a flyover of T-Mobile. Once they passed, the gates would open.

As a huge fan of auto racing, I’ve seen my share of flyovers. But the roar I heard from the north on Tuesday is something that will be forever etched in my mind. The four US Air Force jets buzzed the tower at what seemed like mere hundreds of feet.

It was so loud. And seeing those afterburners glowing bright orange had me feeling goosebumps. To this day, when I hear fighter jets, I run outside. I think they’re some of the coolest things ever built by humans. And I’d never seen an F-35 in person.

I was speechless. And all this was before warmups even started!

Once inside, my very close personal friend Wayne Newton strolled by and said hello. 50 Cent revved up the siren. Drummers were lowered from the rafters during the pre-show. Even the pilots who flew the fighter jets over T-Mobile made an appearance during a TV time-out.

Game 5 was as Vegas as Vegas gets. Especially the fans.

Merch was flying off the shelves. Drinks were bought and spilled at an alarming rate of speed. And the amount of flamingos seen was eerily comforting.

The Golden Knights had it in the bag when Reilly Smith scored the fourth Vegas goal. Florida was getting crushed on chances and the Panthers were clearly undermanned. They played their hearts out. But it just wasn’t enough to combat the depth and systematic excellence of Bruce Cassidy’s Golden Knights.

But the celebration began long before the final buzzer – something our row was reminded of early in the third period when a random dude sat down next to us and started yelling belligerently about not paying for his ticket.

He was there to party. And I mean party. This guy was wild-eyed beneath his glasses, his long-ish hair slicked with sweat. At one point he pulled out a cigarette and a vape pen at the same time and started taking selfies with his tongue out.

No one was with him. So I don’t know if he got separated from his party, or he just indulged in the wrong stuff. But this dude was on another planet, and he was screaming at anyone within earshot. I turned to a friend of mine with plenty of experience in Vegas as a doorman, and before I could even open my mouth, he looked at me and said one word: ‘Molly.’

Security finally removed him. It needed to happen. But honestly: what a moment. I will never forget that guy. Or the cargo shorts and Birkenstocks he was wearing.

What’s funny is that I was actually nervous about last night. I wasn’t sure what the scene would be like if the Golden Knights lifted Lord Stanley’s chalice. I thought it might be a total gongshow – something I’d want to avoid.

Sure, there were thousands of people outside T-Mobile ready to celebrate. And the building erupted when Vegas captain Mark Stone was handed the trophy by NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. Who, by the way, received the shortest amount of booing I can remember.

But from what I saw, it was actually pretty subdued. Fans were happy. Maybe even content. And really, Tuesday didn’t feel like any other Tuesday in Vegas. It’s just the nature of the city. It’s a nonstop party. It just so happened that the Stanley Cup was invited.

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Urinal cats, fighter jets and molly: Inside a Stanley Cup clinching night in Vegas

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